he senses them in your manner toward him whether you speak them or not; that he is much more afraid of sexual issues than you are; and that he can only react in the best way he knows at the moment to preserve his right to his own personal tastes... of which you would rob him? All things considered, he usually does a pretty fair job of self control. It is a wonder that he does not behave in an even more hostile manner on many occasions.

I would certainly recommend that you do not dodge the necessary step of honest self-examination and thorough admission of any such attitudes you have allowed in your thinking. None should be allowed to remain. The moment another man looks in your eyes he knows, intuitively, just what you think of him and he behaves accordingly. No surface pretenses. however skillful, can hide what you have in your heart. though he may be very polite in allowing you to think so. So stop ridiculing him. stop criticizing him. stop "pitying" him and "tolerating" him and stop prevailing upon him to be less hostile. Be less hostile yourself and behold the results.

If you like the policy of "live and let live." then do just that. I'm sure you'll find it quite gay and delightful to "live"; will it be equally gay and delightful for you to "let live"? The "let live" must come first. you know. You cannot reverse the order or you invalidate the method.

Now we come to the way to make this method easy. Those of you who believe it will be easy for you already may skip this part, for it is only for those few who have that remarkable combination of humility and fearlessness required to admit that there is more than a "whisper of hostile thought" to be changed. This part is for those of you who have dared to let tears fall as you endured long nights in lonely rooms with one cry uppermost in your heart. "God help me to love those whose touch is a blow. whose word is a curse, whose glance is a sting ... for to love them is beyond my strength!" To you I submit the following plan.

Do not try to empty a barrel of water that is heavier than your immediate strength can handle when the same barrel can be emptied a thimbleful at a time. In other words, empty out each trivial, petty thought of derision or criticism toward heterosexuals as it presents itself to your attention. You will find, as you do this. that your course through this world grows progressively smoother, the barrel (the burden of ill feeling) grows lighter. and you attract less and less derision and criticism toward yourself. Easy enough? Sure.

But what is easy about a continued practice of giving and receiving condemnation? You will find it much easier to use this method than not to use it. Continued support of a mutual defamation society is more of a burden than some care to uphold. You may differ on this point if your vanity is sufficiently pleased by an occasional indulgence in remarks like "peasant" or "square."

I have found. after tiring of painful experiences, that such remarks (or thoughts) are too expensive. I have also found the way into a world whose inhabitants do not condemn one another's preferences, whether they pertain to foodstuffs. religions, or bed partners. I leave these comments as a trail marker which reads: "He went thataway."

A much wiser traveller among us once left a better trail marker, however which has been named the Golden Rule.

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